Thursday, October 13, 2005

Being a Single Young Woman

Anyone who has read my Xanga blog probably realizes that the topic of the appropriate roles for single young women is something I'm particularly passionate about. Which is natural in the light of the fact that my position as a live-in nanny is condemned by many as being outside of my proper sphere. Admittedly, I have a personal bias here. But my bias is meaningless if it is in violation of Scripture, so I have wrestled long and hard over this. And I sincerely believe that Scripturally, there is nothing wrong with young women living outside of their parents' home, whether it be for college or jobs.

Which is why I find it particularly distressing when I am directly or indirectly told that I am in rebellion, sin, somehow outside of my role, outside the umbrella, or whatever cute phrase you want to use. I've battled against this for years (literally) and frankly, I am tired of it. My patience, unfortunately, is very very low. And I seriously fear that the next time I have to deal with this, I will just explode and react totally inappropriately. So maybe if I react here, that can be prevented.

When people get on their soapboxes (and yes I am on my own soapbox right now!) and tell young women that the Bible forbids them from living outside of their parents' roof, they are lying about the Word of God. When people tell me that I am in rebellion because I don't live with my daddy, they are making judgment calls that they have NO right to make. If they could point me to Scripture indicating that all young women are required to live with their parents until Prince Charming comes and carries them away, I would be more than happy to concede the point. There are no Scriptures that indicate this, directly or indirectly. Instead, there actually are Scriptures that directly REFUTE this. You need look no further than Exodus 21:7:

"And if a man sells his daughter to be a female slave..."

It kind of puts a hole into that theory that God requires girls to remain under the so-called "umbrella" of their parents. Because it seems to me that if that were the case, selling your daughter into slavery would kind of be forcing her outside of this "umbrella" and I'm not quite sure how a father can protect his daughter when she is legally owned by another man.

So Biblically speaking, if it's okay for my daddy to sell me as a slave, then why is it not okay for him to give me his blessing to work and live outside of his home? Would it be okay if he sold me to my employers instead?

The problem with the patriarchy movement and any other movement that adopts this way of thinking is that they aren't using the Bible as the authority for their beliefs. They are basing them on their own preferences and then exploiting and twisting Scripture to back them up (on the rare occasions that they actually do quote the Bible, instead of the latest book by a patriarchy guru). I've been told by proponents of patriarchy that if I left my parents' home (even with their blessing) that it would be like leaving a marriage. I found that statement extremely offensive on a number of levels and I was given no Scripture to back up this ridiculous assertion. I think it's time for people to stop inventing things about the Word of God and then judging those who don't conform to their warped view.